Luv St0ry #1

Today all that potential love became a fleeting romance between the two prepubescent peeps in this real world. We always suspected there was a spark between Mary and Daniel (the lil' camera cutie). Last night Carly kept them from hooking up in the elevator (their prepubescent lack of sexual desire also kept them from hooking up probs). 

Today at the pool things seemed grim at first when we saw Daniel FLIRTING with two cabana girls whores. As you can tell from the pictures below, these girls moved on to an older man right after Daniel left. There's a small chance the creepy man was terrorizing girls and we documented it sassily instead of coming to their aid, but they're probs just cabana whores.

here you can see the cabana whores with Dan the Man and with a real man/pedophile/their consensual whorrish lover

But don't lose faith!  In the traditional camera cutie fashion, Daniel lurked around on his balcony for awhile.

 

Here you can see Dan the Man lurkin'.

Next thing we know, Stefan came down to the pool to present Mary with a note. Side note: this is the only time Stefan talked to us all day despite last night being so beautiful. We thought it was fun, but clearly we're bad at picking up on social cues. Maybe this is why most of us don't have boyfriends. (side note: many of us are single/desperate, hit us up! [not you, camera cuties, you blew it]). So anyways, the note proposed a romantic date for a sixth grader and fourthgrader. Kind of creepy, kind of risque age difference, still kind of cute.

in case you can't read, it asks Mary to take a "nice walk on the beach later tonight." it also listed dan the man's phone number, which we didn't include because he's too cool for you guys to prank call/text (and he's a child!!!).

 

 We were all super pumped, but Mary was super pissed, so that was a little awkward. We relayed the rejection to the older boys and Mary disguised herself in sunglasses, grouched Gollum-esque in her chair, and covered her whole body with a towel for the remainder of the afternoon. She also hid behind cars.

The next bit's a little confusing, but then Daniel came down with a letter for us. He was shy and awkward and looked a little depressed (aww, broken hearts [not that we know anything about that: when boys don't talk to you ever you are spared the pain of heartbreak]).

Stefan wants to know if your free tonight?

 This note is confusing for several reasons:

- why is Stefan speaking in the third person?

- where would Zach be tonight?

- why didn't he just text us?

- why didn't he tell us this when he was down at the pool like five minutes before?

- is "your" referring to one of us or all of us or the possessive of you???

- why is there a line at the bottom?

- why is there a space between "to" and "night?"

This ~*~sUsPiCiOuS~*~ behavior led us to believe that maybe, just maybe, the original note was written by Stefan to bully Daniel, and the second note was written by Daniel to retaliate. And both notes, then, were written to toy with our vulnerable hearts. WAY TO GO GUYS! WELL PLAYED. WE HATE YOU.

jk we were honestly thinking about giving you cookies tonight. but we've said it before and we'll say it again. YOU. BLEW. IT. (that's what she said). we were forced to eat the cookies ourselves.

later we saw Daniel on the elevator and he looked really embarrassed. Mary hid. preteen drama!!!

so basically we failed at any boys, but we have lots of seemingly cute notes to scrapbook, and Mary can claim that she was asked out by a sixth grader (which is cool in the world of fourth graders).

that's it.

xoxo, hos.