Luv St0ry #1

Today all that potential love became a fleeting romance between the two prepubescent peeps in this real world. We always suspected there was a spark between Mary and Daniel (the lil' camera cutie). Last night Carly kept them from hooking up in the elevator (their prepubescent lack of sexual desire also kept them from hooking up probs). 

Today at the pool things seemed grim at first when we saw Daniel FLIRTING with two cabana girls whores. As you can tell from the pictures below, these girls moved on to an older man right after Daniel left. There's a small chance the creepy man was terrorizing girls and we documented it sassily instead of coming to their aid, but they're probs just cabana whores.

here you can see the cabana whores with Dan the Man and with a real man/pedophile/their consensual whorrish lover

But don't lose faith!  In the traditional camera cutie fashion, Daniel lurked around on his balcony for awhile.

 

Here you can see Dan the Man lurkin'.

Next thing we know, Stefan came down to the pool to present Mary with a note. Side note: this is the only time Stefan talked to us all day despite last night being so beautiful. We thought it was fun, but clearly we're bad at picking up on social cues. Maybe this is why most of us don't have boyfriends. (side note: many of us are single/desperate, hit us up! [not you, camera cuties, you blew it]). So anyways, the note proposed a romantic date for a sixth grader and fourthgrader. Kind of creepy, kind of risque age difference, still kind of cute.

in case you can't read, it asks Mary to take a "nice walk on the beach later tonight." it also listed dan the man's phone number, which we didn't include because he's too cool for you guys to prank call/text (and he's a child!!!).

 

 We were all super pumped, but Mary was super pissed, so that was a little awkward. We relayed the rejection to the older boys and Mary disguised herself in sunglasses, grouched Gollum-esque in her chair, and covered her whole body with a towel for the remainder of the afternoon. She also hid behind cars.

The next bit's a little confusing, but then Daniel came down with a letter for us. He was shy and awkward and looked a little depressed (aww, broken hearts [not that we know anything about that: when boys don't talk to you ever you are spared the pain of heartbreak]).

Stefan wants to know if your free tonight?

 This note is confusing for several reasons:

- why is Stefan speaking in the third person?

- where would Zach be tonight?

- why didn't he just text us?

- why didn't he tell us this when he was down at the pool like five minutes before?

- is "your" referring to one of us or all of us or the possessive of you???

- why is there a line at the bottom?

- why is there a space between "to" and "night?"

This ~*~sUsPiCiOuS~*~ behavior led us to believe that maybe, just maybe, the original note was written by Stefan to bully Daniel, and the second note was written by Daniel to retaliate. And both notes, then, were written to toy with our vulnerable hearts. WAY TO GO GUYS! WELL PLAYED. WE HATE YOU.

jk we were honestly thinking about giving you cookies tonight. but we've said it before and we'll say it again. YOU. BLEW. IT. (that's what she said). we were forced to eat the cookies ourselves.

later we saw Daniel on the elevator and he looked really embarrassed. Mary hid. preteen drama!!!

so basically we failed at any boys, but we have lots of seemingly cute notes to scrapbook, and Mary can claim that she was asked out by a sixth grader (which is cool in the world of fourth graders).

that's it.

xoxo, hos.

Potential Luv...??? pt 6

Below is a photo essay of Carly and the bada bing italian ice boy. "He was really socially awkward, and all he cared was the mosquitos and the flies. He kept mentioning his feet hurting," says Carly. Also, a correction from an earlier post: bada bing boy doesn't actually wear a camo hat! We discovered today that it was just a solid army green baseball cap that he sweats in enough to make an almost-camo-esque design. cuh-yute!

Here Carly poses while bada bing boy bends over and Mary makes an uncomfortable face off to the left.

Bada bing boy is so patriotic! And whadda cute fanny pack!

It looks like they're holding hands and professing their love for one another, but Carly is actually just giving bada bing boy two dollars entirely in change. He proceeded to count the change diligently, partially to show that he wasn't going to let Carly's good looks hurt his business, and partially to show off his elementary math skills as a flirting technique. Nice try, bada bing boy! We're not wooed.

Overall, we have one word for this boy: disappointing. Actually, two: disappointing and snaggle-toothed. But he's still a nice guy, so we'll leave him for the rest of the hos out in Topsail.

peace out hos, xoxo <3 <3 <3

Potential Luv...??? pt 5

Carly's going to talk to the surfer boys today thanks to Stefan's self-esteem boost. Whether she actually will or not remains a mystery. Hopefully there will be a whole bunch of h0t b0yz on the beach today <3 <3 <3.

S'mores with the whores!!!

disclaimer: sorry this is long, but it's worth the read ;) ;) ;)

We had loooooooow expectations for our night with the camera cutiez. We learned that their names were Stefan and Zach, and that Stefan was "100% Serbian," which we're hoping was the reason for his horrible grammar and spelling via text. We tried to convince him that we were from "the UK maybe," but he wasn't fooled...and we didn't try very hard. so we win.

look how pissed we are to HAVE to make s'mores with these weirdos who write letters specifically to certain people when all of us hos are really hot.

Then we went down to the grills (unhappily, cuz we're PISSED, seen above) to wait for them. We found a grill that was still hot!!!!!!!! (just like us) (shoutout to alex!) Shortly after, the boys came down in practically matching tank tops (most likely the same ones they wore when we met them last night, either that or all their tanks look the same). It was awkward, and they left together to 1) get lighter fluid and 2) hookup with each other in the elevator (probs). But....

We weren't alone for long, because immediately after camera cutiez left, surfer boys showed up. WITH BUZZCUT TATTOO ARM MAN!!!!!! EEEWWWWWWWWWW. these were the boys Carly was going to talk to today, so mission accomplished. we offered them s'mores and one of them ate a marshmallow and the rest didn't eat anything (so they're probably manorexic). the hawk from last night admitted to being a 24 year old hanging around with the 17 year old surfer boys, so if he wasn't completely creepy last night, he sealed the deal this time.

it's their backs! we're so sneaky. isn't buzzcutt tattoo arm man just as creepy as you imagined???

Then the surfer boys left as Stefan and Zach (camera cutiez!!!) approached, and from there the night was magical and we discovered they were waayyyyy cooler than we imagined. They used their lighter fluid to heat the love in our hearts and get us all hot (jk, but they really did make huge flames go up in the grill). probs symbolic. And we made delish s'mores.

Then we talked, and met the eleven-year-old note delivery boy, Daniel. Soulmate for Mary? Quite possibly <3 <3 <3. After lots of heart-to-heart bonding, we moved to the gazebo for a racy game of truth or dare........ it was real awesome! Liz licked a pole and Stefan failed to tell so much as a knock knock joke (embarrassing), but we still got to see their true personalities (like when they discussed their bongs and interest in sperm...donations [gotcha!] [we offered our moral support for any actual sperm donation {I mean, they'd make great kids, right? don't take this the wrong way}]). Our friend Robert came to visit with his GF Megan, and the two of them fit right in! We discussed alcohol 'n drugs a lot, and came to a consensus that the cops in Annapolis are waaaayyyy more lenient than those in NC. And then some tween girls in their PJs made an awkward situation by running past us and saying "Awkward." It didn't have to be that way, girls!!! REALLY?!?!

look how happy we are! clearly we're meant to be bffs! and everyone is more attractive in real life than they are in this pic, trust us.

some quick fun facts about the camera cuties!
- the surf, they skateboard, and they're making a documentary
- they told us they had some footage on youtube, such as this lovely thang:

- they may be transferring to Charleston with Madeline in a year.
- they both hate natty light
- they didn't buy their tank tops together, but we don't believe them. the colors coordinate so well!
- they like to snuggle together to watch TV (they may have said this as a joke, but we think we reserve the right to take it out of context)

overall, we had a lot more fun than we anticipated, and we like 'em! they encouraged us to talk to any and all surfers we see at the beach, so high hopes for tomorrow ;). have fun snuggling together tonight, boys!

xoxo hos.

Potential Luv...??? pt 4

hey y'all, remember those camera cuties from last night? so do we. and we're having s'mores with them at 9:20. it's a long and winding story of love, lust, and pain that we may not have time to type out before the s'more date.

here are the boys with their backs to us. they obviously don't know that this photo was taken, so don't tell 'em!

 

this is the note they gave us. aren't you curious to know the story behind that??? also, we're not going to tell you not to take advantage of their phone numbers listed here, but please at least wait till we're done hanging out with them to prank call and text them.

more deets comin' soon!!!!
xoxo


UPDATE!!! here are the deets:
so wednesday afternoon, we were at the pool and we saw the camera cutiez with their backs to us, staring at the beach like stalkers. and occasionally they looked back, so they were OBVIOUSLY into us. then we saw a topless boy in the gazebo and decided to take a trip past the gazebo. turns out it was buzzcutt tattoo man and his youngin' surfer friends, but he didn't recognize us (phew!). Then we went back into the pool at the SAME TIME as camera cuties, and we got in the pool at the same time and didn't talk to each other (we were too scared) the entire time. it was really awkward, but it had a lot of cute potential. we're real good with boys, as you can see. the boys even brought their camera to the pool, obviously to remind us that they were the camera cutiez and not just some teen boys in the pool (there's soooooo many of them, obvi). so then they left, and some of us were so sad we hadn't the courage to talk to them. and then one of us turned around and saw none other than the boys STARING at the pool off of a balcony. basically they were stalking us. out of LOVE <3 <3 <3. after we mustered up the courage to wave at them, the boys sent down their presh little brother with a note with their NUMBAS!!!!! as seen above. the only bad part was that they singled out two hos in a whole cluster of really hot girls, so they're obviously really stupid.


look forward to our post about s'mores with the whores!!!