Topsail Hottub Trash

You may think we sit inside in the condo and blog all day (Shoutout to Meredith and Chris!), but we actually go outside and spontaneously talk to other teens... or at least last night we did. It was a really scary experience. We're hesitant to do it again. Last night, in an effort to be sexy and chic, the sophomores went to the hottub. In our clothes, not naked or anything, don't worry (even though we would have looked really good naked too [seriously, you should check out our tan lines, they're like little bright white bathing suits]). From a distance, we saw other people in the indoor pool, and we got scared. Sidenote: On our way over we passed an obese man sitting in the baby pool, reading a book with one of those really cool cave explorer headbands with the light bulbs on them. Wish we had a picture for that one, but we're sure you can imagine! Back to the point, we entered the indoor pool and reluctantly joined some other people in the bubbly and sultry hottub, after asking for permission from the other occupants, of course. Turns out the other occupants were the surfer boys we stalked on the beach and offered s'mores to the next day (the 17 year olds!). We made awkward small talk, props to us for upping our social skills. Some of that included him asking if we're 21... we're not quite sure what his intentions were......hmmm..... When things got a little too steamy and HOT in the hottub, (literally, we were sweating bullets, and the boys weren't all that impressive) we moved to the pool. Immediately, upon landing on the cold hard bottom (haha, bottom!), Maddie (we actually asked her how to spell it, yeah, we're that good at blogging) approached and began to gossip about the surfer boys in the hottub. Here's a little dialogue to spice up our blog:

Maddie: Did that boy say how old he was? 

Hos (awkwardly): Uhh... we know he's seventeen...

Maddie: Well, I'm pretty sure he's...SIXTEEN!!!!!

(Everyone gasps in horror at that huge age difference!)

Maddie: I hooked up with him last night. Don't worry we were drunk.

Hos (nodding as if we know what hooking up with people is like): Ahhh, we see... [DO WE?]

Maddie: It's not like we fucked or anything, we just made out. We went skinny dipping on the beach last night. Do you guys wanna play chicken? 

Hos (seeing the unfortunately low levels of attractiveness of the boys whose necks she was asking us to straddle): Ummm.... we're not really athletic. 

Maddie: Fine, do you want to play Marco Polo or do you just want to be party poopers?
Hos: Ummm, we don't have great coordination...

From there we just stood and chatted and pooped the party. The more she discussed the hottub people, the more they glared at the pool. It was an intense and bitter rivalry between the hot tubbers and the poolers, and we were caught in the middle of it. And by the middle we mean the distant outskirts, really, because we had nothing to do with any of it. WE weren't the ones making out with SIXTEEN-year-olds, after all...

It was our first time spontaneously talking to a group of teenagers (some of them may have been older...there were some creepy facial hair-clad men who smiled creepily with potentially creepy intentions. creepy creepy creepy) and it was quite the experience. everything you could imagine from a frolicking teenage beach adventure: skinny dipping, alcohol, chicken, hooking up. Best of all, they invited us to go out on the beach with them afterwards. Maddie even offered to let us hook up with the three hideous boys she was with. How generous of her.  An opportunity for further opportunities to interact with other topsail teens...

We told them we needed to bake a pizza and we went home. Because honestly, we like the other topsail hos back at the condo waayyy more than those sleazy teenagers at the hottub. And we were afraid of the three unattractive boys Maddie was towing along.

we didn't take any photographs, so here's a representation of our experience. the other people have been omitted from the picture for clarity (and because we were too tired of drawing after the meticulously drawn figures of us).

Overall, it was a sexy and chic night. and the pizza was SOOOO FRIGGIN' GOOD!!!

xoxo