One Fisk, Two Fisk, Red Fisk, Blue Fisk #winning #epic #notfail

If you're a decent North Carolinian, like us hoz are, you know that the state salt water fish is the redfish, more formally known as the channel bass.

School's out so were not gonna give ya an arithmetic lesson or nothin', but we just wanted to congratulate our faithful ho Katelyn Sohn for winning our social media contest, in which we challenged our followers to be the first to successfully identify the fish in our profile picture. 

lookin 4 a faithful ho 2 guess what type of fish we're hangin out with!!! hit us up w/ ur answers 4 a prize xoxo pic.twitter.com/l0iCEfBHjf
— Topsail Hoz (@topsailhoz) August 4, 2013

@topsailhoz dats a redfish doeeeeee #fiskknowledge #ichthyology
— Katelyn Sohn (@katelynsohn) August 5, 2013

We don't know what a "fisk" is, or what "fiskknowledge" is for that matter, but congratulations anyways, Katelyn.

She will be receiving a special prize, which we will announce later this week.

Jealous?? Why not enter our next social media contest?

PHOTO CONTEST: Name the "cuties" (First AND Last Names... Spelling COUNTS) good luck... Xoxo pic.twitter.com/o1aCBmM0q6
— Topsail Hoz (@topsailhoz) August 5, 2013

XOXO

The world is in your hands...

Have you ever wanted to be the President????
(Especially all you ladies out there... GIRL POWER!!!)
Well, here's your chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're on the lookout for a president for our fan club! Nice! This is a great leadership opportunity and resume builder. Plus, you'll get to interact with celebrities (such as ourselves) regularly, and you can even work from home! Sounds like a great experience.

To be considered for this once in a lifetime opportunity, all ya gotta do is fill out the application posted below and email it to us at topsailhoz@gmail.com.

This job is considered an unpaid internship opportunity, though we might be willing to send you some fudge as a reward for your service ;). 1-2-3-GO!

CLICK HERE FOR APPLICATION

xoxo,
hoz
ps. we couldn't do it without the fans

Twitter Probs

TWITTER PROBS!

Apparently some of our faithful hoz aren't so faithful. We were blocked and marked as spam a "disproportionate number of times," according to Twitter, and labelled as "aggressive tweeters," so Twitter took annoying action...and this is the result...

Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww. Reallyyyyyyyyyyy.... D;

We got marked as friggin' SPAM...... if ya know what i mean ^   ^

                                                                                                    O

This is what our account looks like now...

but this is what our account will look like on Friday.

And for those of you who  marked us as "aggressive spammers" on twitter, this one goes out to you. (You're Rihanna in this situation, and it's NOT a compliment, so don't think it is!!!)

Or if you're a Simmer like us, mAd PrOpS to the creator of this Sims 2 version! WOWWW~~!

We doughnut know what to do....hmmmm...

Last night the Ho Rents nicely bought us HOARDS OF FOOD, including DOUGHNUTS. Within 24 hours, all twelve doughnuts were consumed.
 Based on our research, it looks as if Ho Dad ate 1, Mary ate 5, Madeline ate 2, Kathryn ate 2, and Ho Mom ate 1.There is 1 doughnut who has an anonymous eater (possibly Kathryn, but no judgment). Sadly, Ho Mom won't let us get anymore doughnuts.


Please,
CLICK HERE TO HELP OUR CAUSE!!!

Number One culprit

bye doughnuts :( :( :(

The Scoop on Poop....A Sneak Peek between the Cheeks - An Investigative Report on Toilet Paper

Last night, we noticed how thin our toilet paper was. But, the Ho Rents had nice, thick toilet paper. This did NOT seem fair.
         The thin toilet paper ripped easily, got stuck between the cheeks, AND was not very "comfortable".... if ya know what I mean... ;D
          Let's get the investigation rolling...We sent photographer, Kathryn, to go to the scene.

The bathroom...not so *innocent*

quick selfie in the bathroom mirror - protocol

VERY THIN toilet paper

ya don't want this getting stuck anywhere...

comfortable? think AGAIN BUDDY

 the comfort toilet paper DENIED to the topsail hoz... :(

             We had an interview with Ho Mom about the scandal. If this doesn't suggest parental neglect, we don't know what does.

"GIRLS, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET A NEW ROLL OUT OF THE CLOSET?"

That's not even relevant, Ho Mom. We're trying to investigate.

"DID HO-DAD NOT PUT ANY TOILET PAPER IN?"
"I WALKED IN USED THE BATHROOM, COMPLAINED ABOUT THE CRAPPY TOILET PAPER, AND TOLD HO DAD TO PUT A NEW ROLL IN"

Likely story...
      

      So........ Just gonna wrap this up... if ya know what I mean ;D
            We have not yet changed the toilet paper. We're too lazy, We're making Ho Mom do it.
     

 

*$% EnTeR oUr CoNtEsT oN iNsTaGrAm AnD tWiTtEr %$*

Rotten But Never Forgotten...

When Ho Mom bought this bread last month, we were told it had 2 weeks to live.

When Madeline made a mustard and turkey sandwich for lunch today, that reality came crashing down on her. While she was able to eat most of the sandwich, she was forced to rip off a few pieces of mold from the sandwich's crust.

Ho Mom has determined it best to dispose of the remainder of the loaf... Please pray for our bread and for our family and friends during this crisis.



RIP, bread

Bringing Sexy Back???

Dear faithful hoz,

It's that time of year again ;)

To celebrate our 2 year ho-versary, we're ho-in' it up on 2 new social media outletz!!! (twitter and instagram--handles for both are @topsailhoz--duh!) Check those for short updatez, but for all the drama, alwayz check us out here on the blog.

This week it's just three of the hoz, Kathryn, Madeline, and Mary, but all our past hoz are forever in our heartz (S/O to y'all. LYLAS). Look out for a "Where Are They Now" post about our fallen hoz later in the week!

Oh yeah, Ho Dad and Ho Mom are also here... hope they don't make us eat veggie lasagna....

We know you've been waiting almost a year for us hoz to return to topsail (or if you're new to the blog, you're just excited to start delving into the archives of our hist-ho-ry). Whoever you are, you're welcome.

XOXO, Topsail Hoz

P.S. as alwayz, give us your feedback! Tweet us, instagram us, email us (topsailhoz@gmail.com), facebook us, or even text-a-ho if you're lucky enough to be in our inner circle. We've been known to S/O our most loyal hoz and include their reviews.

P.S.S. If you have a suggestion, just hashtag it to #suggestionpitcher on twitter and instagram! (Are you new and don't know what a suggestion pitcher is? Read all about it here.)

Peace out suckaz!